It is finished
Wow, its done. After three plus months of brutal, grueling work, it's done. Why did I do it? Why all those nights of 1-4 hours of sleep? Why all the anguish and hard work? Why don't I just give in and go the easy route? Was it for the grade? Was it for the praise of someone saying, "Well done on that paper"? Looking at what my grades will be, if that was the reason, I have failed.
But what if it were for a different standard? What if the mere acquisition of knowledge were not my end goal? What if there was something else that drove me in this pursuit. A reality of a greater reward far beyond anything that can be grasped here on earth? Not a reward for achieving some tangible accolade from a mere human, but rather the words of the Almighty Creator of the universe telling one, "Well done thou good and FAITHFUL servant." That is why. That is the reason to endure. Then if comes into focus. The the long nights of work, the struggle, it is not because I want to say "no" to ease, it is rather that I am saying "yes" to something greater.
Will it get easier? Will there be a time when I can say, "I have arrived"? No. On the contrary, it will only get harder. More pages to read, more words to parse, more assignments to get done. But is the work the end in and of itself? Again, no. All this is to lead to an even more demanding task, being the instrument of God in the lives of people. No longer will it be for the marks of ink on a page but the striving will be for the very eternal souls of people. That is a frightening thought.
But, if the growth, the blessing, of witnessing God work in my life and the lives of those around me this fall is but a taste of such a ministry, through the fog of doubt and fear I see the hope and joy. But even above this, the peace of knowing you are in God's hand, right where he wants you to be. May I rest in this knowledge and press on to the mark of the high calling in Christ Jesus.
These two things I would ask of the Lord, that I may dwell in this house of the Lord all the days of my life, and that He may use me to lead others into His presence as well.
To God be all glory
But what if it were for a different standard? What if the mere acquisition of knowledge were not my end goal? What if there was something else that drove me in this pursuit. A reality of a greater reward far beyond anything that can be grasped here on earth? Not a reward for achieving some tangible accolade from a mere human, but rather the words of the Almighty Creator of the universe telling one, "Well done thou good and FAITHFUL servant." That is why. That is the reason to endure. Then if comes into focus. The the long nights of work, the struggle, it is not because I want to say "no" to ease, it is rather that I am saying "yes" to something greater.
Will it get easier? Will there be a time when I can say, "I have arrived"? No. On the contrary, it will only get harder. More pages to read, more words to parse, more assignments to get done. But is the work the end in and of itself? Again, no. All this is to lead to an even more demanding task, being the instrument of God in the lives of people. No longer will it be for the marks of ink on a page but the striving will be for the very eternal souls of people. That is a frightening thought.
But, if the growth, the blessing, of witnessing God work in my life and the lives of those around me this fall is but a taste of such a ministry, through the fog of doubt and fear I see the hope and joy. But even above this, the peace of knowing you are in God's hand, right where he wants you to be. May I rest in this knowledge and press on to the mark of the high calling in Christ Jesus.
These two things I would ask of the Lord, that I may dwell in this house of the Lord all the days of my life, and that He may use me to lead others into His presence as well.
To God be all glory
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